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Originally deed to match intelligent people based on their literary interests, readers immediately ganged up on the personals section like Amazon reviewers and twisted it for their own purposes. In a GQ interview Rose said:. What an idiot I am. They never altered. Never any change in the pitch or the camber.

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We've had many reports of romances, dalliances, marriages and children. No returns and no refunds at box no. Include a full list of qualifications, your aspirations, and a full frontal nude body shot. No longer the realm of whisper it losers, there is a sophistication to the modern day personal ad that is both fascinating and, for those who are compelled to london, frequently thrilling.

It's just a name though so don't be expecting any free personals. Compulsive-eating F, 52, WLTM man to 25 for whom the phrase 'beauty is only skin-deep' is both a lifestyle choice and a religious ethos. And a five-door saloon fully air-con.

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T he internet generation of daters hasn't abandoned personal. You'll never be a genuinely worthy partner, but try anyway by first replying to box no. What feels so right can't be wrong. It makes me appear more attractive and personable than I actually am.

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I think that's my referees covered. I celebrated my fortieth birthday last week by cataloguing my collection of bird feeders. I have a mug that says 'World's Greatest Lover'.

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With you, however, I'm going to be a belligerent old shit from the very beginning. And you carry the odour of your class. Psychologist Abraham Maslow was cautionary about the difficulties of achieving self-actualisation - fulfilling every aspect of one's innate potential.

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Great tits though. My last seven adverts in this column were influenced by the early catalogue of Krautrock band, Paternoster. Mine was a cerise pump during London Fashion Week Style troubadour, M, WLTM similar, or appropriately dour fag hag.

M, The celebrity I resemble the most is Potsie from Happy Days.

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Rather, lonely heart sections have raised their game. More or less the same as the old face, but less facial hair and better teeth. And kleptomania. Like King Shahryar, beheading his virgin brides once he's had his way with them, we read personal ready to laugh and brush them aside.

Rip craiglist's personal : an homage from the londoners who loved them

All humans are Science has long since proven that I am the man for you 41, likes to be referred to as 'Wing Commander' in the bedroom. Truly great man, Better than Elvis and Gandhi. You can call me Monty.

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They're amazing; I'll burn you a CD. Meet the new face of indoor bowling! If clumsy, unfeeling lust is your bag, write to the ad above.

"she arrived at my house at 11pm, and got an uber home at am"

Classics lecturer M, Possibly out of his depth with today's youth. Their absurdity and humour aren't disguises for some deeper intent. Philanthropy is my middle name.

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How about you? My first name is none of your business. All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you. And yet, when all's said and done, their purpose is to attract a mate. Perhaps they create something of a Scheherazade effect - a term coined by psychologist Geoffrey Miller in reference to the ancient Persian queen and storyteller of One Thousand and One Nights.

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I vacillate wildly between a of archetypes including, but not limited to, Muriel Spark witticism-trading doyenne, Mariella Frostrup charismatic socialite, brooding, intense Marianne Faithful visionary, and kleptomaniac Germaine Greer amateur upholsterer and ladies' league darts champion.

Man, Possibly the last person you want to be stood next to at a house-party you've been dragged personals to by a friend who wants to get off with the flatmate of the guy london birthday it is. The selection procedure will involve a four-part interview, along with an aptitude test and multiple-choice questionnaire.

Applications to box no. They are simple, genuine statements about the people who write them and the people they hope to find.

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Next year I'm hoping for sexual intercourse. Now, however, I'll have to pick one of you delicious women. Normally on the first few dates London borrow mannerisms from the more interesting people I know and very often steal personals and anecdotes from them along with concepts and ideas from obscure yet wittily-written books. If I could be anywhere in time right now it would be 17 December I have my reasons. This magazine is the shizz. Apart from the bit about darts.

You can call me Mr Wallace.

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That's because I like you and feel ready to give you honesty. We've all made mistakes.

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And a cake. Mentally, I'm a size eight. Monty is fine, though. But, just as Scheherazade stays her execution and wins the king's affection with tales of history and humour, so LRB personals compel the reader with their inventiveness, engaging us in such a way as to keep us wanting more.

Don't expect a tip from box no.

Otherwise write to me, mid-forties M with boy next door looks, man from U. Wikky wikky wick yo. Save time now by writing to box no. I, on the other hand, have the looks of Herve Villechaize and an odour of wheat. We take the direct route home, we don't stop at Belisha beacons and we never - and I mean never - leave the impudence of a box junction unquestioned.

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My real name, however, is Quentin. You're a brunette, 6', long legs,intelligent, articulate and drop dead gorgeous. Woman, Everything I just said was a lie. If intense, post-fight sex scares londonI'm not the woman for you amateur big-boned cage wrestler, Box no. Seriously, dudes. Google-search this: 'Inherited wealth real estate Bentley' - that's me, result 63 of It'll take 0. So, as unobtainable as such a state of being is, the London Review of Books' personal ask: "Why bother? But only Mother uses that. Mother personals you'll never be good enough for me anyway.

And Nanny. They're modestly successful too.

London personals

The usual hyperbole infuses this ad with a whiff of playful narcissism and Falstaffian bathos. When not in my London city office overseeing the day-to-day business of my successful ancy firm, I can be found leaning inside taxi cabs, spitting wild obscenities and challenging the drivers to fisticuffs. This one, however, is based entirely around the work of Gil Scott-Heron.

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Belligerent old shit London, Personals call me Mr Boombastic. my invite mailing list at box no. But scratch below the surface and you'll soon find that I really am the greatest man ever to have lived. Have you ever heard Boards of Canada? Granted, their honesty subverts the traditional lonely heart form, and we're often surprised, delighted or infuriated by their unwavering and messy emotion, but if an advert doesn't garner a positive response - however witty it may be - its author will always consider it a failure.

Bespectacled and melanin-deprived, they tell us not to be ashamed; to relax a little and enjoy what's out there without feeling threatened by it. And two holidays a year Latin America plus one other of my choosing.

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